I had decided that I was going to do a Thanksgiving dinner on the Saturday and have friends over, but I lacked a roasting pan, having left mine in Canada when I moved. I made my resolution on the Wednesday and thought that I was out of luck when I looked online for potential options. However, there is a store called Sur La Table that has a plethora of amazing kitchen gadgets and other culinary awesomeness for sale physically and online. They just so happened to have the perfect roasting pan in stock in their online store, with a web discount and the option for $65.00 next day delivery via UPS.

Thrilled, I not only purchased the pan, but serving utensils, a gravy boat and some coffee related appliances for Dustin for Xmas. I considered the $65.00 steep, but figured it was my own fault for leaving it to the last minute. I didn’t realize what a painful ride I was in for. Because, as nice as Sur La Table is, they rely on a third party vendor for their shipping and I was at the mercy of UPS - and UPS turned out to be total crap.

It became far too complicated, far too quickly.

For clarity’s sake, here’s the breakdown:

• November 25th, I ordered my kitchen gear at sur la table
• The parcel was sent out the same day and I got notified via email with the tracking number for UPS
• I missed the Wednesday delivery due to an appointment, so the delivery person left notice that they would try again on Monday

I had a moment here because I had thought that the Friday was not a holiday and they would be able to deliver then.

• I called the UPS 1-800 number, which didn’t list Friday as an available day for contact
• Confused, I told the automated system to let me pick it up (thinking Friday would be available)
• At the end of the message, they say “Friday not available for pick up” so I pressed zero and asked them to deliver again on Friday. The girl was very snarky and sounded like she was doing her nails. Then she bitched at me for setting up the auto system and did not care that I found it confusing. She claimed that she had reset it so that the parcel would be delivered on the Friday. I explained how I was getting all my gear for Thanksgiving, she popped bubble gum into the phone.

Friday was spent in anticipation of kitchen-y goodness

• All day I waited for UPS, checking my phone battery, checking the door, testing the buzzer and getting antsy.
• I decide to check the website to see where my parcel has tracked to. The website interface is easy to use and actually not poorly designed as per UI purposes.

• Around 4pm I figured I was going to have to buy a roasting pan in person, so I called UPS and explained my situation.
• The girl on the phone claimed that the other agent I talked to had set the package back up for ‘will call’ (pick up) rather than delivery. She says she will call the delivery office and get back to me. We hang up.
• I begin to freak out and swear so much that sailors would have blushed.

Miraculously, one of the boxes gets delivered minutes later

• As I’m about to leave to buy another roasting pan and curse the names of all UPS executives, the buzzer buzzes and one parcel arrives. It contains the roasting pan and the serving utensils, but not the gravy boat or Dustin’s presents.
• My killing needs started to calm down at that point and I was willing to wait for the shipping group to call me back for the remaining items.
• An hour later, a guy calls me and I give him my work address to send the remaining items. He says that they should arrive at work on Monday.

Lies and tracking codes

• Monday comes and goes. I guess that it’s been delivered but Apple’s internal shipping has it.
• Tuesday comes and goes. My soul dies and UPS has turned me into an evil succubus. I eat a puppy.
• Next I go to the website and I see that it’s been put on ‘will call’ yet again.

• Now teeming with rage, I call the 1-800 number of doom (this is December 7th now) and request they send it to my work address and ensure they have all the details down. The person I talked to claims that shipping will call me on December 8th to confirm the information.
• No one calls. I sprout leathery bat wings and eat a kitten.
• Back to the website, I check the listing and it says that the parcel was sent to Indiana and signed for.
• On the 9th, I call Sur La Table and explain that I don’t have most of my purchase and that the $65.00 charge for next day delivery doesn’t apply to me anymore.

UPS are dicks

The girl who I talked to at Sur La Table was quite upset at all my trauma. She went down to their shipping department and talked to her team about the parcel. Turns out that UPS broke most of the items in the second package and we suspect that they broke it in the beginning and kept on switching it back to ‘will call’ until the deadline ran out and they officially had to sent it back to the manufacturer so that I wouldn’t find out and their insurance wouldn’t be hit.

This makes me wonder about their internal processes and incentive programs. Clearly the customer service agents (aside from the first girl) were actually trying to help me. I was never rude to them and I know they felt my pain. But somewhere along the line, there is no culpability. Shipping department people can access the same computer system and make changes to delivery requests without customer sign-off. Someone lied about their work and that’s unacceptable.

Were they not so considerably cheaper than FedEx, I would never use their services again. Sometimes, fiscally you just have to suck it up.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm and is filed under Web to Real Life. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.